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Why Women like Me Regularly Take Selfies on Our Cameras and Cellphones

Bon Voyage Kiss from Andrea Adams-Miller

Selfie of a Bon Voyage Kiss from Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO of The RED Carpet Connection Publishing Publicity and Talent Agency and Ignite Your Relationships Corporate and Interpersonal Consulting

Why Women like Me Regularly Take Selfies on Our Cameras and Cellphones

Originally, I included photos of me with friends, family, fans, and my clients. However, as my personal confidence grew so did my desire to see what I looked

Bon Voyage Kiss from Andrea Adams-Miller

Selfie of a Bon Voyage Kiss from Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO of The RED Carpet Connection Publishing Publicity and Talent Agency and Ignite Your Relationships Corporate and Interpersonal Consulting

 

like to others for myself. What I discovered is taking pleasure in enjoying my own smile. In reviewing my own features and my own smiles, I realize that I can recall what I am thinking about or where I was or what I was doing before and after in these selfies that bring me positive memories that are for me only. Then, I became fond of the woman in those photos!

This woman shows pain, shows laughter, shows honesty, and shows hope. I like her and I am happy

Bony Voyage Kiss from Andrea Adams-Miller

Selfie of a Bon Voyage Kiss from Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO of The RED Carpet Connection Publishing Publicity and Talent Agency and Ignite Your Relationships Corporate and Interpersonal Consulting

to give her camera time. My hope is that all women can enjoy and take pleasure in their own photos, unretouched, unrefined, and unphotoshopped. Through all these selfies, I have accepted me as I am. I have accepted the body I live in, and I have accepted the character lines among my face as part of me and who I am inside and out.

The more I see me, the more I accept me as is without criticism and without the need for perfection as that would take away from me being a real person. Women deserve to be beautiful and loved as they are without shame, without embarrassment. When you can learn to love your image, you learn to love yourself, and you find that others cannot help but love you, too. The people who do not love you or do not find your beautiful become insignificant. After a while, you cannot hear the negatives anymore because you only hear the good that radiates from within you.

May selfies continue to be a wonderful thing as I would love nothing more than to see my daughters beautiful faces as they accept themselves as beautiful young woman. If you are questioning the concept of the selfie, take a photo of yourself. Keep taking them until you love you. If you gripe, complain, and shy away from the camera, you need to take even more because you have missed the point of the selfie being one of the most prominent tools in self-acceptance. As I have always said, “Life if all about relationships. When you have a positive relationship with yourself, nothing can hold you back! Cheese!

Andrea Adams-Miller is the CEO and Founder of IgniteYourRelationships.com Corporate and Interpersonal Relationship Consulting and CEO of TheREDCarpetConnection.com Publishing, Publicity, and Talent Agency. To learn more about how Andrea can address your organization, business, or college, please contact her through one of the websites where you can also sign up to receive free reports. Andrea has been on ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, PBS, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, PRIME, 20/20, WebMD and more….

 

Dating The Number One Reason the Term Needs a Clear Definition to Improve Relationships by Andrea Adams-Miller

When it comes to dating, so many times the date becomes the relationship instead of the casual opportunity to get to know each other better. When dating, the dating process should be open, casual, and fluid. Unfortunately, so many couples go from the first date to a committed dating scenario. They are dating each other exclusively without discovering if the person they are dating is worthy of the commitment of a deeper relationship.

Personally, I would like to see the term dating go back in time a bit when dating meant that two people were hanging out together as friends to explore what might be possible for them in the future. The more they date, the more they get to know each other. When the couple decides that they only are committed to dating that one person, then I prefer the adage of ‘going steady.’ While the wording is outdated, the difference between dating and dating exclusively needs to be identified for both parties involved and extended family and friends in society.

The reason I suggest the difference be made for both parties is that when a couple is dating it used to mean that they were open to dating other people, too. Unfortunately, not everyone is clear on that definition, and most frequently, they assume or are too afraid to ask if that is the correct definition to ‘coin’ their relationship. Therefore, inevitably one partner gets hurt because they thought they were dating exclusively and the other thought that dating meant it was casual. This hurts relationships and puts the couple at a disadvantage as it brings up jealously so early in the relationship. Jealousy pushes back against what people want for the relationship, and usually with an early jealousy issue, one party or the other decides it is not worth it to pursue the relationship. This is unfortunate as it could have been a pleasant relationship if things had not progressed so rapidly so early. Additionally, if the relationship level had been defined earlier on in the relationship all of this disappointment may have been avoided.

Family, friends, and extended society who know the couples’ dating status tend to say the right things and tend act more appropriately. Being clear about a status just makes everything a bit easier on the couple and the people that associate with them. Plus, when it is clear, then Aunt Betty will likely quit fixing up blind dates with people who are not potential dating material! Additionally, it makes it easier for the couple to reject other possible opportunities as the expectation of fidelity increases when the ‘going steady’ differentiation is made rather than the guise of ‘just dating.’ By reading this article it should be clear that the confusion can cause more confusion when feelings, expectations, and obligations are added into the mix.

Unfortunately in society, I think we put too much pressure on people to be in a relationship. I would like individuals to feel comfortable and be confident as themselves and reduce the necessity of defining self as someone’s partner or spouse. Dating then could be used to go out, have fun, interact, and spend time with others without the pressure of finding ‘the one’ and becoming a couple. Maybe in reading this article, families and friends will stop asking family members and friends if they are dating anyone or if they are in a committed relationship. By not asking the question, they are not putting the expectation that the person is less than enough to be an individual. I realize that in asking the family and friends do NOT think the person is less than, however, in consulting with individuals over the last 20 years, the single people PERCIEVE that they are less than when that is what they hear asked of them time and time again. The solution is to stop asking. If they are dating someone and if they want others to know, they will tell on their own!

Younger and younger teens are dating which is translated into ‘going steady.” To me, this impedes their development of friendships with multiple people and stunts their growth as maturing young adults. While I wholehearted support hanging out with potential dating partners or even one potential partner, I would like to see more casual interaction that involves many friends, groups, and families, too. In this case scenario, the teens are able to be more comfortable and feel less pressure to move the relationship to levels that they are just not mature enough to handle. Even if they are mature enough to handle them, we do not want to foster serious relationships that impede their ability to run, play, explore, and enjoy life too early. Let them be teens and let them be young adults to find themselves before they feel obligated to become ‘a couple.”

Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO of IgniteYourRelationships.com, is a corporate and interpersonal relationship consultant who fosters open communication to create quality relationships in business and at home. She has been recognized as Business and Professional Women’s Young Careerist, the American Association of University Women’s Young Leader of the Year, and a three time nominee as one of NW Ohio’s 20 Under 40 esteemed professionals. Adams-Miller is a best-selling author, an awarding winning International radio show host, a keynote speaker, and corporate trainer. Additionally, she provides interpersonal relationship consulting in the areas of marriage counseling and sexuality/intimacy. To learn more sign up for the Bodaciously Bold Tip Line to receive direct professional information to your email account to uplift your life, your career, and your personal relationships! www.IgniteYourRelationships.com

Andrea Adams-Miller, "The Leading International Authority on Healthy Relationships"

Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO of IgniteourRelationships.com, Your Relationship Consultant

How to Stay Strong When Your Loved Ones are in The Line of Fire

Andrea-Adams-Miller-Ignite-Your-Relationships-Corporate-and-Couples-Consulting

Andrea Adams-Miller, Ignite Your Relationships Corporate and Couples Consulting

Andrea Adams-Miller To the Partners of Emergency Personnel: How to Stay Strong When Your Loved Ones are in The Line of Fire

With the tragedy of the hotshot firefighters losing their lives in Arizona, I am about to share what I have learned as a corrections officer, a 911 emergency dispatcher, an auxiliary women’s fire department member, and as the wife of a firefighter. While my partner never succumbed to an emergency situation, I know there are other firefighter partners who have increased fear due to the deaths of these brave firefighters whenever their partners are out to fight a fire or other disaster. It is because of this situation that I felt the need to say something and share how I have handled the stress, fear, and worry.

I can only speak from my circumstances as I have never been in each of your situations with your background. However, I hope my insight will provide you with peace and hope each time your partner goes to work where potentially anything can happen. Please know that they do love you and care about you and your family. Every day these men and women, these public servants, go to work to fulfill a deep inner calling to protect and serve. While you may feel frustrated, angry, and lonely at times worrying that something may happen to them, they feel the duty and honor to protect your family and others by doing their job.

I get it that is difficult. You may think, if they love us, they will find another job that is safer. They cannot find another job and be happy. You choose this person for who they are: a fighter, a solution finder, a protector, a risk-taker, and a hero. Even if they did not work in a public service position previously, this calling was always within them. Not everyone is cut out for these emergency related jobs; it takes special people who want to serve a higher purpose for the community. What I have found is that these men and women feel that doing their job is showing love for their families. They want the world to be a better place. Therefore, they protect others from crime, fire, flood, and whatever other pain and suffering come from people, weather, or structural damage.

The worst part is that when your family is affected by wildfire, flood, earthquake, terrorists, and any other situation where a community is in danger, you have to step up to the protector and problem solver in your household. They have to leave to tend to others who are less prepared and who cannot fend for themselves. I have found this is the most difficult part. For a few fleeting moments, I resent the other people who are not prepared, who put themselves in dangerous situations that put my husband at risk. For example, we had several floods in our local community that created major damage in our county.

My husband was called to evacuate others from homes despite the early warnings to leave. Just like other cities faced with wildfires, not everyone leaves and firefighters are obligated to go get them out. In our situation, Tom left leaving me to tend for our children and our properties while he helped others. Our properties were damaged, and I had to deal with the stress, pressure, and physical clean-up for multiple properties and rental families without him. Complicating the stress, I also lost personal property that was severely damaged. I lost valuable business and personal property items that can never be replaced. He was not there to comfort me; he was not there to help me handle the physical labor of clean up.

In these fire emergencies like wildfires, similar situations occur. The partners are left home to care for children and household all alone. Intentionally working where potentially dangerous situations arise, our partners go to work to protect and serve for other people. Regardless of the emergency, it seemingly is always the same. The public servant goes out to serve others while the partner is left home to take over from there. The fear of our partner’s safety is ever present. However, as frustrated as we get, there is always this inner pride knowing that our hero is risking hard challenges to save many. It is an inner conflict when handling the contrasting emotions.

What do you do in that situation where they leave to go do their job and face danger? For me in the situation where we were also affected by the emergency, I relied on others such as friends to care for my children. This was helpful while I stepped up to take care of what Tom normally did for our rentals and our own property. I admit without remorse that I cried. No, I sobbed while I cleaned up the mess. I worked endlessly with dirt, mud, stagnant water, soggy books, and more. All the while, I had tears running down my face with a couple choice words uttered out of my mouth when the frustration became too much. I admit to even kicking or throwing an item here or there to release the stress I felt from being left alone to handle all of that mess.

You might not have to deal with the stresses of an emergency when your partners leave to handle a crisis. However, you still have the day to day stresses that can be taxing on a two parent household, and know you are there to handle it all alone. Additionally, it is not as if you had time to prepare. When our partners are called out for an emergency, they get the page, and they grab their gear and run out the door. If you, or they, were not home when they got the call, you may have never had the chance to kiss them, hug them, and say goodbye. Now, you have to be both parents and handle everything in your partner’s absence, which might be hours, days, or weeks. We never know.

I asked for help and so can you. I realized that I could still be seen as strong and ask for help from others. I called everyone I knew that either had little or no damage. I asked them to help me if only for a few minutes. My advice is to reach out to positive people who are excellent at keeping you busy by keeping focused on the positive. In my situation, I decided that it was ok to receive help from The Red Cross, so I accepted the prepared meals for myself and my volunteers while I secretly wished my partner had the opportunity to eat, as well.

I even accepted the cleaning supplies that The Red Cross supplied knowing that they were needed by me and our renters. While you might not need cleaning supplies or emergency help, you might need comfort, counseling, and financial assistance. It is ok to ask for the help that is out there. Whether your loved one is in the field, injured, or has fallen victim to the situation, it is always ok to ask for help. Accept help from friends, other people, and services in the community. People want to help you, so let them.

When my husband was gone doing his firefighter duties saving others, all the while, I feared what was happening. I always do worry whether the house is engulfed or if people were trapped inside. I worry if he will have to go in or will his comrades. In this case, I wondered, “Was he boating in flooded waters rescuing someone from a house, or was he wading out in rushing waters to save someone who chanced driving through the flooded river water.” While I am using the flood emergency as my example, it is the same feeling when he goes out on a fire run. If I do not busy myself with other activities, I could drive myself crazy asking the what-if questions about his safety.

 

You will do that, ask yourself questions that drive you crazy. If you do not find a way to distract yourself, you will stress yourself with worry because of the unknown. See, that is how it is when they are out fighting fires, bad guys, or whatever they do every day or night. We never know what is happening. That may be the most difficult part, the unknown. Of course, my husband had a cell phone, but I did not dare call and distract him as the potential exists to put him in more danger. Additionally, often in an emergency situation, there is little or no cell phone service either, which makes you more distressed.

Therefore, the best thing to do is be positive and think of others’ safety. When you see your partner as a hero out saving lives instead of a selfish person leaving you to fend for yourself, your whole perspective changes. By seeing him or her as a hero, you will be able to feel good about your sacrifice, as well. In supporting your partner who is an emergency responder, you, too, are an unsung hero. Your hero needs to know that you can handle the stress, the bills, the house, and the children. By being strong, you allow them to go out and focus on the task at hand which is saving lives. They cannot be distracted worrying about you and the children as that will put them at more risk for harm.

Remember why you love them. Remember that you choose a smart, intelligent, problem solving, quick thinking public servant. Love him or her for those qualities that allow them face the challenges that put them in harm’s way. Know that you choose someone who will do everything to protect themselves, their comrades, and the community. Choose to do something positive every time they go out. You could cook the station a meal, write them a letter telling them how proud you are of them, take time to get some “me-time,” visit with family or friends, or do something fun with your children. Just because they are out doing their jobs, does not mean you have to sit home and lament waiting for them.

Lastly, being the partner of an emergency response public servant, I realize that nothing I say will remove the deeply ingrained fear of your partner’s safety or the pain of devastation that comes from your partner’s injury or demise despite every precaution. What you can do to relieve yourself today is enjoy the moment’s you have now and to relish your memories that are positive with photos, mementos, and special times together! The more you invest in making your relationship positive today, the more likely you will be proud of your partner as the hero they ultimately can be to protect you, your family, and your community.

Andrea Adams-Miller, is the CEO and Founder of IgniteYourRelationships.com, LLC. As a professional and personal relationship consultant, keynote speaker, and author, Andrea speaks and trains corporations, colleges, and individuals of relationship success. Andrea provides easy to implement, practical solutions that can be implemented right now to create, maintain, and sustain healthy relationships at work or at home. Seen on 20/20, TIME Magazine, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and more, Adams-Miller can be contacted for speaking, interviews, and more at www.IgniteYourRelationships.com where you can also download a free chapter “Putting the Sizzle in Your Business Relationships” from the best-selling book ‘Nothing But Net.’

Relationships with Our Pets Most Important in Times of Tragedy

Although not everyone would agree that pets are valuable treasures, the people who have pets cherish their pet’s companionship more than anything. Pet owners know that their relationships with their pets are some of the most valuable relationships they have ever had in their lives. According to the Center for Disease Control (cdc.gov), pet ownership decreases blood pressure and feelings of loneliness. Facing the loss of a pet can be tragic in itself however losing a pet when faced with additional tragedies such as the recent Oklahoma tornado destruction can be overwhelming. Unfortunately, many people’s pets are missing under all the rubble of the houses, business, schools, hospitals, and cars. With the compounded loss of adults and children, these pets are not likely to be found unless rescuers find them as they are seeking human life.

However, sometimes miracles happen and the relationships we have with our pets do not always end. This was the situation for Barbara Garcia and her Scottish terrier. Barbara was being interviewed by CBS news about the loss of her home and her pet dog. Garcia shared the details of sitting on the stool in a small bathroom with the lights on and suddenly as the toilet lifted from the ground, the lights went out simultaneously. Being tossed and turned, she ended up under rubble and finally dug herself out from underneath.

Obviously still in shock and obviously wounded with facial and arm lacerations, she described how her pet was lost somewhere out there. At this point, she definitely could have used her companion, her dog, to comfort her. As she continued sharing her sad story of her missing dog, a CBS crew member cried out she could see the dog! Here the Scottish terrier was trapped under what appeared to be parts of the frame and basin of a once intact washing machine. Barbara dug out her beloved pet, who never barked or whimpered out loud, but desperately struggled to get out to be with her owner. Barbara cried silently as she petted her dog as she shared that God answered her two prayers by saving her life and then saving her dog’s life, too.

Witnessing this miraculous find and the reunion of this relationship was very heart-warming easing the horror of the Oklahoma devastation if for only a moment. You could see Barbara’s demeanor change the moment she saw her beloved dog. Though she cried, she seemed joyed and blessed to have her pet at her side. As she petted the dog, her sorrow seemed to ease despite the loss of her home, her valuables, her neighborhood, and her community. While the tragedy will still affect Garcia, the blessing of her pet found alive will continue to help her coupe with the devastation of it all.

News information like this provides hope for so many people distanced from their loved ones, their homes, and their pets. Hopefully, more stories like this will emerge providing this community with hope. Fortunately, the Animal Resource Center, Inc. is stepping up to provide shelter for displaced pets and forming an opportunity for reunification with pet owners. This shelter is accepting donations specifically for the animals affected by the tornado through http://newleashinc.org/  just note Tornado Relief Funding with the donation.

Andrea Adams-Miller, CEO and Founder of IgniteYourRelationships.com, LLC, is deemed in the media as “The Leading International Authority on Healthy Relationships.” As a keynote speaker, consultant, and best-selling author, she provides information, articles, hints, tips, and suggestions on improving or maintaining excellent relationships both in your personal and professional relationships. To receive a her free e-chapter of a best-selling book, visit www.IgniteYourRelationships.com.

Local Findlay Woman Saves Life of Dying Man during Family Business Trip

Local Findlay woman, Andrea Adams-Miller administers CPR and saves the life of a dying man in near Vail, Colorado during a family business trip.

Findlay, OH- March 19, 2013

Tom Miller and his two daughters Devony, 15, and Demiya Miller, 14, of Findlay, OH, were immensely proud of their mother Andrea Adams-Miller for stepping up to intervene in an emergency situation ultimately saving a life. During a cross country trip, the family stopped at a gas station for a rest break. As Tom entered the men’s restroom, he encountered a man collapsed on the bathroom floor with another man administering CPR alone.

Tom knowing his wife of 18 years, Andrea, a past 911 operator and former instructor for the Criminal Justice Department of Owens Community College, has a history for being able to step in medical emergencies immediately went to the car to get her. She immediately ran into the facility pushing past onlookers saying, “I know CPR!”

“As I dropped to my knees assessing the victim, I found him not breathing, and I could not find a pulse. He looked dead, and he felt dead to the touch, but the man giving CPR, the victim’s best friend, was pumping his chest desperately attempting to save his friends life,” said Andrea. “I knew then I would do anything to help make that come true.”

Andrea Adams-Miller, the CEO of www.IgniteYourRelationship.com, LLC, a personal and business relationship consultant, shows clients how to avoid and how to handle the problems, miscommunication, and the emergencies in their business and personal lives, had just recertified for CPR this last year. Known for telling her clients and her students you always need to be up-to-date on your training, she says you never know when you save the life of someone you love or a person in need.

The victim, a male in his early 60’s, name withheld for his privacy, had a history of congestive heart failure for which he had several stents put in place. Although, he had recently appeared to be in decent health, it was reported by friends traveling with him that his severe asthma could have caused him to collapse in the higher altitude of Silverthorne, Colorado, a city near Vail.

As the paramedics arrived to take over, the victim who had been nonresponsive to CPR for twenty minutes starting gasping and eventually fully came alert much to the pleasure of the whole team consisting of two sheriff’s deputies, four paramedics, the friend, and Andrea. “He was so alert, he was refusing to go to the hospital. After the paramedics told him evidence of a heart attack, they were too polite trying to persuade him to go. I butted in firmly stating, ‘I am Andrea. I am a total stranger who just gave you CPR to save your life because your family loves you and needs you, so just say yes.’ He nodded, and they transported him.”

“I was so proud of my mom,” Devony Miller, the 15 year old daughter of Andrea shared. “Then, when I found out that she not only helped, but also she saved his life. I was so proud; I put it on Facebook!”  Demiya Miller, Andrea’s 14 year old daughter, said, “I think it is so cool that my mom saved a man’s life!”

“Everyone keeps calling me a hero of which I am honored, but the real hero was his best friend who knew what to do immediately and who trusted me to help him. Really, it was a team effort,” said Andrea. “Being a relationship consultant, I understand the bounds of friendship. To see this friend remain calm in this emergency and the friend’s teenage son call 911 when his friend was dying was truly something to be admired.”

As a relationship consultant, Andrea shared that the best feeling came after the follow up phone call from his family and friends. They said he was transferred to a Denver hospital to a lower altitude for observation and that he was going to be ok. Andrea shared, “When I heard that, that was all the thanks I needed!”Andrea Adams-Miller Helps Save A Mans Life with CPR

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